"Only seven guineas. That--or thereabouts" a very intensely dull writing update

I have finished a detailed revision of my novel Go Home, Miss America. Very soon I will begin to query literary agents about representing the book. I have had agents before, so I know the drill, you boys. One must consider carefully how to pitch one's wares. The novel is maybe sort of a cross between Peter Carey’s Oscar and Lucinda and Kingsley Amis’ Lucky Jim. I can’t say that in a query letter. The novel is set partially at a major university. That’s probably not something to put into my query letter; "campus" novels (which this isn’t) are not in vogue. The novel asks existential questions about meaning in life. I can’t say that in a query letter, either. Readers want plot, not purpose. Tread lightly, yes? The novel’s protagonist is an educated young woman with sincere religious faith. I very likely can’t say that in a query letter. The novel is funny. I can say that in a query letter. There are goats. That’s probably safe, too. There’s sex and violence and profanity. Does that increase the marketability of the book? I’m certain that it does. Or it doesn’t. Anyway. It’s a pretty good novel, so we’ll see. Tomorrow I'll quote some witty and insightful Henrik Pontoppidan bits. You will enjoy that one.

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